Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium

Rob and Jamie

Rating all the emperors of Rome in the history of the Roman Empire (sort of) read less

Our Editor's Take

Often, the idea behind a podcast comes from the goal to share expertise on a specific topic. Hosts often spend hours to years gaining knowledge to share with an audience. But in this podcast, Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium, this is not the case.

Rob and Jamie, the cohosts of this podcast, have no notable credentials in history. According to them, they've glanced at the History Channel. But as far as studying the subject in school, they never took an interest. Still, their lack of knowledge doesn't quell their enthusiasm to rank things.

As the title of the podcast name hints, Rob and Jamie love to pin elements against each other and see which wins. Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium isn't their first time exploring this. They've tried this format with two other podcasts about American presidents and whiskey. This time, they wanted to explore ranking the Roman Empire.

As ranking enthusiasts, the hosts have a solid system for examining each emperor. Their system on Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium includes five unique categories. The first, Fightius Maximus, explores a leader's fighting skills. Did they manage their armies well? Did they conquer? Then, there's Opprobrium Crazium, which discusses how mad they were. The category Succesus Ultimus reviews how good they were at leading. It also explores if they were beneficial for the empire in general.

Imigo Facius is a smaller classification that inspects the emperor's physical appearance. The cohosts do that with the help of busts that depict the leader's likeness. Finally, Tempo Complete checks how long the ruler lasted in their role. While some ruled for years, others only lasted several days. The emperors who have a certain "Je Ne Cesar" (a play on je ne sais quoi) will go into the podcast's Colosseum. There, they will fight for the top spot in the hosts' ranking.

While this might not be an accurate history podcast, it certainly is a fun one. Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium promises to deliver a ranking fight to the death. Rob and Jamie also vow to do their research and even buy a few Roman history books.

read less

HistoryHistory

ComedyComedy

Start Here

So this is it! Find out who is the most interesting of all of the season 2 emperors! Justinian II, Andronikos or Heraclius! Only one can win, who will it be!?

Episodes

So this is it! Find out who is the most interesting of all of the season 2 emperors! Justinian II, Andronikos or Heraclius! Only one can win, who will it be!?

S2 Semi Final 3

S2 Semi Final 3

The last of the semi finals is the hardest of the lot! Heraclius, Basil I, Anastasius and Justinian the Great face off against each other. But only one can win! Find out who!

S2 Semi Final 2

S2 Semi Final 2

4 Emperors, only one can go through! We have some big hitters! Tops Scorer Basil II, Cad and tyrant Andronikos and Best Death winner Leo V! Oh, and Theophilos is here also. which is nice. Who goes through to the Final? Find out!

S2 Semi Final 1

S2 Semi Final 1

Romanos, Justinian II, Leo III and Alexios face off against each other in our first semi final. Who could say who will win!? (ok, this one may be obvious - but the next two are too close to call! And join us anyway, we have fun!)

The last of the rounds before we go into the quarter finials! This time its Constantine XI, Basil I, John VI, Leo V and Maurice! A close one to call! Also, we go through the total scores of all the emperors of season 2!

The penultimate round before the semi finals, and we decide which two got through. this week we have Theophilos, the awful Alexios IV, Irene, Heraclius and Nikepheros II! only two go through, but who!? Also we look at the Tempo Completo for the whole season!

In Round 4 we see Manuel II, Constantine IV and Leo I go up against the two Komneni - Alexios I and Andronikos! only two can go through, who will it be? Also - who was the least best looker as we go through Imago Facius

Next round! And in this we have Season two top scorer Basil II against shepherd boy Leo II, the Reluctant Emperor Theodosius III, and the two emperors in exile - Theodore and John III! Who will win? Find out! Also, a look at the most and least successful emperors of the series!

The round of death! This time we must choose between Justinian I, Justinian II, Manuel I, Justin II and Eudocia! Also, we have a look at who were the most and least crazy of all the emperors of S2!

Here are the rounds! This time Romanos I takes on Micael VIII, Anastasius and John I and John II! only 2 go through, but who!? We also take a look into the Fightius Maximus Round. Who was the most and least Fighty emperor of season 2?

So here we are! All of Season 2 emperors have been scored. but how will they do in the play off? But before we find out, we must put them in rounds. Here we go!

171 Constantine XI

171 Constantine XI

Here it is! The last Roman emperor! it's been quite the journey, and after this we will be able to say we have ranked them all. So how does Constantine XI hold up to the 169 others? Find out!

Penultimate episode and we have John VIII! Is the son of Manuel Dos able to live up to his father? Can he hold back the Ottomans with his plan of church unification? Well, no. Let's find out why!

The empire is on its last legs and needs a hero. And who is this man? this suave champion of the people!? is Manuel as cool as Jamie and I think he will be? find out!

Last week we covered a son who led a mostly unsuccessful coup against the father who blinded him. This week we are coving a grandson who led a mostly unsuccessful coup against the grandfather who blinded him. So that’s fun.

167 Andronikos IV

167 Andronikos IV

So award for worst son in Roman history goes to... But is this fair? Did AndyIV have a reason for his behaviour? Find out!

166 John V (Yes V, not VI)

166 John V (Yes V, not VI)

So, after John VI we obviously get to John V! And this has it all! Kidnapping, a trip down memory lane, imprisonment, a moody teenage son, and Lord Flashheart/the Green Count!

It's Matthew! Should he get an episode? Maybe, maybe not. But he has one! The empire is spiralling out of control as the neighbours fight their civil war for them!

164 John VI (Yes VI, not V)

164 John VI (Yes VI, not V)

Next up is John VI! Which we are doing before John V just to mess with everything that is good in the world. Find out why in this episode! (Oh and about a civil war and stuff)

163 Andronikos III

163 Andronikos III

His father is dead, his grandfather is on the throne and he has accidently murdered his brother (oops). There is clearly only one thing to do: It's Coup-O'Clock!